While this article might sound like the result of certain holiday season excesses, let me assure you that these lessons came from a time far earlier and centre around a very different area of my gut.
I have something called “uterine fibroids” or benign growths in the lining of the uterus. It is actually quite common and 75-80% of folks with a uterus will develop them at some point during their childbearing years. What is far less common however is for those uterine fibroids to cause intense pain and greater bleeding during the menstrual cycle.
As it turns out, I am one of those lucky folks.
For as long as I can remember, my period has been an ongoing trial. Like a great beast attacking the fortress of my body, I would brace myself for its monthly onslaught. I would arm myself with heating pads and a rotating slew of medications, all with the aim of beating the pain and bloody inconvenience into submission.
Mind over matter—or so I thought. It was the same lesson that I had taken to heart as a child dealing with the broken bones and weak muscles that were the result of my disability. The deficiencies of my body were something to be overcome through medical science and sheer force of will. The more I believed this, the more I sought to pull my mind away from the pains of my body.
So what changed? Well, it began with some stretchy pants.
My previous day job involved working for an athleisure clothing company. During my time working there, I acquired a large number of very comfortable leggings in a wide variety of patterns and colours. We were encouraged to wear these to the office and I was more than happy to do so. Except there were definitely some days when these leggings felt very uncomfortable.
My pair of small uterine fibroids sit in the low part of my belly, a few inches on the inside of my right and left hipbone. Essentially perfectly aligned with the waistband on a pair of leggings. During my monthly periods, I would notice how the waistband would seem to become much tighter and more uncomfortable, but largely dismissed this observation. I knew the leggings fit properly, so the issue was clearly with my body and I popped a few more Tylenol to deal with the pain.
It wasn’t until the combined forces of working remotely and an even more relaxed wardrobe spawned by the pandemic that I had a very odd sort of breakthrough.
I discovered that if I wore looser pants such as those with a drawstring or pyjama bottoms, the pain and discomfort from my monthly period was far less. I still needed to take my medications, however this simple change in the pants I was wearing on those days led to me feel so much more comfortable and functional as a human being—as opposed to feeling like I’d been run over by a semi-truck.
This was a revelation.
Rather than trying to stomp all over the pain signals coming from my body, I began tuning into them. On my more sensitive days, I start my morning by putting on different pairs of pants in order to gauge whether those were going to be the right attire for the day. If I get an uncomfortable twinge, I’ll dig into my clothes drawers for something even looser to try. I have even begun to deliberately purchase a few items of clothing with an eye to those I can wear specifically on the days when a tighter waistband is going to be an issue.
It sounds like ridiculous common sense in hindsight, but at the same time I think about how common it is for us to ignore the messages that our bodies are trying to tell us because we simply don’t want to hear them.
We cheer athletes that bind their bodies so that they might compete through injuries.
We praise employees who actively forego proper rest and nutrition in order to complete an important project.
We painfully squeeze ourselves into particular shoes or clothing to satisfy a desired aesthetic.
The body isn’t doing anything wrong when it attempts to protest these efforts through pain or exhaustion. It is, in fact, doing its job in its effort to try to keep us from further harm.
Mine had been trying to tell me for years… “Hey! You, up there! Any chance you could apply a bit less pressure on a part of your body that’s going through a bit of a bloody ordeal at the moment?! Thanks ever so much.”
It amuses me that the voice I give my body now is a touch sarcastic, but it also doesn’t surprise me. After years of ignoring it, I have a lot of trust that I need to rebuild.
The Body Scan
As we kick off the new year, perhaps now is a good time for you and your body to start a deeper conversation with each other and strengthen that bond. There are many ways to approach this, however I am going to describe one from my Wayfinder Life Coach-in-Training materials.
Start by settling yourself in a comfortable seated position with your feet on the floor.
Then begin by focusing on your breath. Feel the gentle in and out of the air just beneath your nose.
Once you feel calm and settled, shift your focus to your right big toe. Is it hot? Is it cold? Can you feel the sock or shoe that surrounds it? Can you feel the pressure of the floor underneath it?
Shift your focus to your other big toe. Repeat the process slowly and methodically as you work your way up your body… toes, feet, legs, hips, chest and so on… all the way up to the crown of your head. Try to scan your internal organs as well—your gut, your lungs and your heart.
Take note of any areas of tension, pain or numbness. If you find such an area, in your imagination, try to warm and relax these areas as you might if you were to soak them in a soothing hot bath. Is something released in this process?
If an area provokes a particularly uncomfortable or painful reaction due to an underlying trauma, pull back from it and focus in on a more neutral area instead.
As you work your way through the body scan, what do you discover?
What is your body trying to tell you?
Thank you so much Athena - this is exactly what I needed to read, learn, do this evening as your intense story spoke directly to an unexpected protracted cadre of pains that have been trying to get my attention! You speak of pain with the authority of one who really knows!